Different Children

So we finally found the three miscreant boys who stole from me, and we told them to return it, or we will go to their house (another boy filled us in as to where they live), and if that doesn't work, then we will go to the police. Still trying grassroots up, but I'm seriously loosing interest.

Anyhow....

I had a different sort of interaction with some neighborhood girls yesterday. While we were waiting for the boys to come return the thing with their tails between their legs (which they didn't of course), the doorbell rang. This time it was 5 young girls, between 12 and 5 years old.

They formed a benign semi-circle around me and waited for me to say something. We exchanged the normal greetings...pause.

"What are your names?" I asked

They told me. ...Pause.

"So, how old are all of you?" I kept going.

They told me...Pause. I'm not really sure what to say at this point. I used to think I was really good with kids, but the children here seems to totally throw me off my game.

"Uh, so the weather is really nice now, huh?" I commented. The old default of the weather didn't enthrall them.

Pause... They are still just standing there looking at me, not offering any conversation items.

The call to prayer sounded from the local mosque.

"So, do you speak any English?"

"No," they said. I'm out of conversation topics at this point.

"So, I'm making dinner (a lie) so maybe later, ok?"

"That's fine," the older one said. "We are going to go pray now anyways."

"Do you pray??" piped up the middle girl.

Awkward...given that one, I'm not Muslim and two, that I'm not religious at all really.

"Well, not like you," I offered innocently. Hey, I grew up Catholic and I still think there's lots of great elements to Christianity.

They just look confused at my statement.

"Well, you see, I'm not Muslim," I continued. Am I just digging myself into a hole here? Probably, but I don't want them to think that everyone they like is by default a Muslim, because all good people must be Mulism, right? This is a very common train of thought here.

"You're not?" she asked sort of accusingly.

"No, but there are lots of Muslims in America. But most people there are Christian though," I explained. Note here that in areas like where I live, trying to explain atheism, agnosticism, or even the existence of another religion outside of the big three does not go over well.

"So you're Christian, then?" She asked.

"Yes."

With that they all did a synchronized hair-pin turn and went out the gate.

Oopps???

Oh well...what else do they know to do?

ladies' health clubs

Just a quick blog post here in a spare moment. I wanted to give a shout-out to a great post that I read the other day by Dhofari Gucci about women's secret health clubs in Oman.

http://dhofarigucci.blogspot.com/2009/10/salsa-aerobics-salalah.html

Definitely check it out. Her description of these hidden havens of shaking hips and sweaty yoga mats will brighten your day:)

By the way, Nadia, know of any of these clubs in Rustaq? All I can find are the men's "health clubs", which definitely don't involve yoga ;)

Mouths Wide Oman

Seriously everyone, what's up with the staring? I have always noticed, but this year it seems worse. Maybe I've just gotten more sensitive (a definite possibility....).

Some say it's because I'm a woman.

Some say it's because I'm a foreigner.

I'm sure these are elements to the cause of the gaping, slobbering, vacant stares I've been getting. However, I don't buy it. Why not? As being a westerner in possession of a vagina seems enough reason....right? I said in my last post that I will never understand their perception of me. And that's true. I think, increasingly so, that is crucial to look at the rational and experience of the other side. But, what if there doesn't appear to be any brain wave activity on the other side?

In any case, I don't think being a foreign chick is the reason for these particular stares because it's not just me, and it's not just men staring at me in this way. Women stare at me. And they stare at each other. And the men stare at other Omani men.

Now, let me explain. This is a very distinct stare that I'm talking about here. This not the stop and point, giggling and talking all the while stare. While more active, this type of normal staring seems somehow healthy and is less perturbing. I'm talking about the stare of a cow shot by a stun gun. Eyes wide, mouth wide, and sometimes there is drool. Occasional minor retinal movement, but usually it is dead pan and missing any sort of intellectual activity. Not even negative judgment. Just nothing. It's sort of scary.

My husband describes it as saying it looks like their brains are disintegrating and any minute are going to start dripping out of their mouths. Couldn't be more accurate.

Now this is not everyone, of course. It is not even the slight majority. But it is nevertheless disturbingly frequent.

In Muscat it's rare, but the farther into the mountains you go, the worse it gets. Perhaps the most terrifying density of such starers was in a eastern fishing town called Khaloof. All I can say is run away. You might get nightmares.

Them....or is it Me?

The children have not come back, alhamdulilah, but I'm not letting down my guard yet. Of course the music player hasn't come back either though... I thought about going to the police, but I'm just too tired of all this, and God knows if they would be helpful anyways.

Most of the kids still howl and make bizarre noises at us when we walk or bike by, but I don't even really know what to think. I have to come to terms with the fact that I just can't understand their experience of me. I just don't know what it's like to encounter someone so radically strange (after many years of nothing but the same skin, same clothes, same prayers, same language, same habits, same schedule). We must seem like utter freaks to them.

Just today as my husband and I were biking around the streets to go off road, he commented "Hey, you know, just doing this right now would blow most peoples' minds." And he's right. Just taking a stroll or biking through our area would be a culturally overwhelming educational experience. But to us now it's just home.

But not. You know?

It's a fine line between being part of the area and remaining a freak on the edge.

I guess we're both.

That's That

Well, I've gotten a few comments now suggesting we should move. The bureaucracy and red tape here would make the nearly impossible at this point considering the way our employment/contract is set up. I'll keep it in mind though. In the meantime I'll keep crossing my fingers and locking the door.

Let me add a disclaimer here though:

Despite the recent events and recent posts, I do not hate Oman or Omanis. I don't think that all Omanis are bad parents and that all Omani children are little monsters. I still think that Oman is a beautiful and diverse country (albeit with its problems like any country). I am making an effort to differentiate between the part and the whole. Between our current dilemma and my overall impression.

Yours,
Burned-out but Recovering (inshallah)

Advice

Thanks for the comments and advice. I appreciate it! I have thought about moving, however, that would mean uprooting so much stuff, not to mention all the complications with our landlord and agency boss. The rent is paid for the year on this house and it would cause big issues to leave. Not to mention loosing the yard. But I've still thought about it.

More tempting is involving the wali/sheikh/and or police. This is an option. Our command of Arabic is good enough to negotiate that, and perhaps it would, as you say, make them realize that we're serious.

Most of the time, backing out here only causes problems. The town is small. Most people know most people. Getting "scared" out of their neighborhood is likely precisely what they would like, and word would get around that we're able to be intimidated. I'd rather play by their rules.

If I've learned anything in my 2 years in the region, it's that if you CAN, playing the wusta card and proving to them that you're not easily bamboozled, that you KNOW how things work and can pull consequences for them...you gain respect. Leaving will just show we lost. I hate to put it in those terms, but it's something of cultural battle of the wills.

We live here, and are invested. It's not like we're tourists anymore. Switching from visitor to member of society (granted at a lesser level) changes the game.

If your neighbors were harassing you, would you just up and move? Probably not.

I think I just answered my own question (with your help!). We should probably take one more stab and the neighbors one-on-one and then take it up a level to the "authorities".

Now they're stealing....

So before we left for Dubai, I woke up to discover that my music player in my car was gone.

Those children who had woken my husband and I up the night we went searching through the neighbor for the rascals had stolen it from my car. We had seen them run out the gate of the yard, coming from the area where I park the car, but naively (or just sleepily) hadn't thought that they would have stolen anything.

George spoke to one of our neighbors and told him that he expects it to be returned in a few days, but what's the "or else"? What kind of sway do we hold? We don't have a picture of the boys, so we can't go to the police. We don't know which family. There are SO many children here that God knows which house they belong to. What CAN we do? Basically I think the kids just got away with it. Who is going to own up to it? Who's going to admit stealing (totally haram by the way)?

I think it's gone. But really I care less about loosing my music player than the fact that they just learned the lesson that they can walk on us. We just don't know the families. Accountabilty here comes from being known. Who knows you? Who's it going to get back to? That's what keeps things in check and we just don't have that.

So what can we do?

I bought a pad lock. I hate to be more isolated but I'm sure as hell not letting anybody in our yard until it gets returned. Otherwise there was no "societal consequence", you could call it, to disrespecting us.

Any advice? Seriously.